The wind beneath my wings
by Quiet Time
Summary: Post CoE.  Jack has left Earth & is tracking down the 456.  Inspired by the song Wind Beneath My Wings as sung by Colleen Hewett.  Jack/Alonso Jack/Ianto.
1. Chapter 1

**Based on the song "Wind Beneath my Wings". (Lyrics in italics). There will be a chapter for each verse.**

**Everything belongs to the BBC. Except the song, this version of which belongs to Colleen Hewett.**

_It must have been cold there in my shadow  
To never have sunlight on your face  
You were content to let me shine  
You always walked a step behind  
_

Captain Jack Harkness was due to inspect the troops. His troops. His army.

His greatcoat waited on the stand behind him, but it was only a memento. He had a different uniform now. He was Captain Jack Harkness, again, newly reappointed to the rank. Leading his own army in pursuit of the 456.

Jack called them Taskforce Stopwatch. Ianto would have laughed that quiet laugh if he'd known. Jack still heard that laugh, sometimes, from just behind his shoulder. Every time they won another child back. Every time they destroyed another supply line. Every step backward they forced the 456 to take, Ianto was there, in his mind. In his shadow, where he'd always been. Where he'd been content to be.

The thing with shadows was you never realized how bad it felt not to have one. Something you took for granted. Something you didn't think about because it was unthinkable, really, that it wouldn't be there when you looked for it. Something you could manage without, so you thought. So you told yourself, because you had to.

But it always felt _wrong _to look behind, and not see it.

"They're ready, Captain."

They were waiting for him, the thirst for vengeance, - no, justice – shining clearly from each set of eyes. He'd looked for that shine. It matched his own. Every being out there had lost someone to the 456. They would follow Jack to the end of the quest, not for pay, not for vengeance, but so that no more planets would suffer as they had.

Not a single child. Not one solitary, single child would they take. Never again.

"Thank you, Midshipman."

Always Captain and Midshipman, while they were on duty. They had other names after hours, but no-one else ever heard those.

The Doctor had chosen well. Alonso was the almost-perfect right-hand man. Almost. Never more than almost, because the perfect right-hand man died in Jack's arms in Thames House and so began the quest for justice. Not in his name perhaps, because he wouldn't have wanted that, but in his memory, in his honor.

They got along well, Jack and Alonso. They had common ground. Each damaged by their own tragedies, each with a bit of a thing for the Doctor. And Alonso gave the army its balance. Because Alonso alone, of all the members of the taskforce, had never suffered loss at the hands of the 456. He'd lived through a different tragedy and found solace working for the Shadow Proclamation.

He'd been an invaluable ally when the Shadow Proclamation found out about Jack gathering his own private army. Alonso had convinced them – Jack still didn't know how - to sanction it so they could exert some control. But they hadn't interfered, because they knew they'd looked the other way for too long. They only had to survey the members of Taskforce Stopwatch to see the ravages that had been overlooked. Because the 456 had always been careful to take small, excusable numbers, and the affected planet had been always too ashamed of their actions to take a complaint to the Shadow Proclamation. It might have gone on forever, except the 456 got greedy and demanded the ten percent from Earth. Soon, they'd know what a mistake that had been. If they hadn't noticed already.

Sometimes Jack tried to make Alonso into Ianto, at least when he closed his eyes. But it didn't work. No Welsh vowels.

**For anyone who is waiting for chapters of my other fics, apologies. I will get back to them soon but I needed to write this one. (There'll be a dedication at the end which will explain).**


	2. Chapter 2

**Based on the song "Wind Beneath my Wings". There will be a chapter for each verse.**

**Everything belongs to the BBC. Except the song, this version of which belongs to Colleen Hewett.**

_I was the one with all the glory  
While you were the one with all the strength  
Only a face without a name  
I never once heard you complain  
_

"We've got a lock on the signal, Captain. A sector they haven't hit before."

Jack rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to dismiss the headache. Trying to forget the strong fingers that used to push his away and banish the headache within minutes. He could try to forget, but he knew he wouldn't. Never could.

"They're still using the same frequency, huh? Idiots."

"Personally, I'd prefer they stay idiots," Alonso answered. "Makes it easy to track them."

Ianto never complained about Jack's habit of stating the obvious. He might have raised a cautionary eyebrow when Jack's need for reassurance became too evident, but Ianto wouldn't have pointed out the idiocy of his comment. Ianto knew his weaknesses and helped him keep them hidden.

Tosh would have worked out a way to track the 456, regardless of the frequency.

Gwen would have held the children they saved while they cried for their parents.

Owen would have taken the ones they couldn't save and learnt from them. And the knowledge he gained might save the next victim.

And all of them would have faded into the background and let Jack take the credit. _Made _him take the credit, whether he wanted to or not.

Jack allowed his eyes to close, just for a second, to lose himself in a memories of the lost ones, the loved ones.

* * *

"I'm debriefing Unit today. Who's coming?"

No answer.

"Tosh? You can tell them how you uncovered the signal."

"I'd rather not, Jack. I don't want to tell them about that program yet. It's still got bugs. Make up something. Tell them you did it."

"Owen?"

"Sod off. I've got fifteen bodies waiting."

"Gwen?"

"If you want, Jack. But there's one last spectator that didn't get Retcon."

"Ianto? Please?"

Sigh. "You don't need to do the eyes, Jack. But I'll take notes. You do the talking."

* * *

"Captain?"

"Sorry, Midshipman. Was there more?"

"There's been no orders given to ready your ship. Are you going with us on this one or staying behind?"

Jack hid the sigh. This wasn't Torchwood. Alonso wasn't Ianto. Alonso obeyed orders, he didn't anticipate them. That, he'd explained in the early days, would be overstepping his authority. Outside his job role.

Alonso's job role didn't involve looking after Jack. Ianto's hadn't either. Regret pooled in Jack's stomach the way desire used to. Ianto had looked after him out of love, and it took Jack too long to see it. Too long to appreciate it. Too long to return it.

Alonso waited respectfully. He liked Jack, even loved him, in a way. But he knew there was no point giving his heart to a man who'd left his own back on Earth. Jack still called for Ianto in his sleep. Alonso's heart ached for Jack, but it would never break for him.

"Get my ship ready, please Midshipman. And assign me a co-pilot." He didn't assume any more that his right-hand man would join him, though he'd been surprised the first few times. Not a good idea, Alonso explained, with the experience of merchant service behind him, to have two commanding officers in the same ship. Just in case.

And Alonso liked commanding his own ship. Alonso liked the attention. Jack didn't mind. He'd had his share of glory and it meant nothing anymore.

Ianto had known, hadn't he? How could he not?

_Because I never told him._


	3. Chapter 3

**Based on the song "Wind Beneath my Wings". There will be a chapter for each verse. (there's one more verse after this.)**

**Everything belongs to the BBC. Except the song, this version of which belongs to Colleen Hewett.**

_It might have appeared to go unnoticed  
But I've got it all here in my heart  
I want you to know I know the truth  
I would be nothing without you  
_

Jack was already settled into his seat when the door opened to admit his co-pilot. It might be considered courteous to wait until your companion arrived but the tiny vessels they used didn't comfortably allow for two people moving around at the same time. The bigger, slower habitat ship would follow, assuming the signal produced something that warranted long term attention. And it would be there to give the smaller ships a ride home in the docking bays. Saved fuel.

"Welcome," Jack said offhandedly, most of his mind focused on the comm chatter as the fleet prepared for departure.

"Thank you, Sir."

Jack tensed. Alonso often allocated newcomers to him, on the basis that Jack was seasoned enough to compensate for their inexperience. Faultless logic. But still, he could at least _warn_ them how to behave.

Ianto would have taken care of that. If Ianto was here, the co-pilot would know exactly what Jack expected and would be excited to be serving with him, besides. Actually, no, that was wrong. If Ianto was here, there'd be no co-pilot. Because Ianto would be in the seat beside him, and Jack wouldn't be wondering how to fill the gap between launch and landing.

Jack sighed. Pointless imagining. None of this would be happening if Ianto was still here, if he….wasn't….gone. Even Jack wouldn't be here, on this ship, on this mission. Ianto would never be here, except in his mind. In his heart. In his soul, if he still had one.

It was wrong to expect Alonso to do the things Ianto had. And if he was honest with himself, that wasn't really what he wanted. He just wanted to fill those spaces, those empty aching gaps where Ianto should be. To look over his shoulder and see _someone_, keeping watch over him, keeping him safe, in all the ways no-one else even knew that he needed. Someone to help him keep this fiction called Captain Jack Harkness from falling on his face, from falling into nightmares. But no-one even knew he needed that. No one else ever got beneath the façade. So no one would ever be there. And Jack had all of eternity to get used it.

The slender blue being – probably female, Jack decided, given the shape – settled herself gingerly into the seat beside him.

"I'm sorry, Sir," she said. "How did I offend?"

Jack gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "You didn't offend. But I don't like being called Sir," he explained. "Captain, or Jack, but not Sir."

She blinked. Jack watched, fascinated by the way double-eyelids worked. At the back of his mind, Ianto scolded him for staring.

Jack smiled to himself. He knew what most people would say about having voices in your head. Especially if you listened to them. But if the Doctor had made him grow a conscience, Ianto was the voice of it. He'd heard those Welsh vowels echo in his mind while Ianto was still around, and he had no wish to change it. And he'd given up wondering how someone he'd known – loved – for such a short time could become so much a part of him. It didn't matter. Hearing Ianto's voice might be a sign of oncoming insanity, but right now it _kept_ him sane. And right now was all that mattered.

"Err, Sir…I mean, Captain?"

"Yes….sorry, didn't get your name." Alonso didn't bother with things like that, assuming Jack would check the allocation roster if he wanted to know. Ianto would have bothered. Ianto only let Jack look foolish when there was no-one else around. And, Jack reminded himself, didn't I just decide to stop thinking like that?

"The troops call me Blue, Captain."

"Is that what you want to be called, though? It might be considered insulting by some."

Owen called Ianto Teaboy. Jack knew he didn't like it, but he hadn't interfered. And he should have. At least he could learn from his mistakes.

"I'm happy to answer to it, Captain. My real name is somewhat unpronounceable without a forked tongue." Which she had, of course. Jack made a mental note to visit her planet one day. When this was finished.

"Blue it is then. So, Blue, you wanted to ask something?"

"Yes Si…Captain. A matter of protocol. I'm required to inform you that my people are empaths."

Jack tensed. He didn't want anyone in his mind. They wouldn't understand the voices. Or the block. No one could see what lived inside the shuttered part of his mind. Jack concentrated, raising mental shields. From the corner of his eye, he saw his co-pilot relax, tense frame collapsing into her seat.

"You can shield," she said with relief.

Jack nodded. "Used to be a Time Agent. We learnt."

Blue smiled. Jack noticed she didn't have any lips. Maybe he wouldn't visit her planet after all.

The voices on the comm became more urgent.

"Sounds like we're about ready to go," Jack commented. "I'll launch and land, you handle the cruising. OK?"

Blues eyes widened. "I've never flown by myself, Captain."

Jack smiled. He liked teaching. He'd taught Ianto how to shoot. Among other things. "You'll learn. The autopilot will handle most of it. And I'll be here if you need help."

Once they were well underway, Jack leaned back in his chair. Blue was either being modest about her piloting skills, or she was an amazingly fast learner. The rest of the journey stretched ahead, empty. He glanced at his co-pilot and reluctantly decided he should use the peaceful interlude to get to know the new member of his army.

"Why did you join us, Blue?"

"My sibling," she answered simply. "And the child of my mate's sibling."

Jack nodded. "They took them, I suppose."

Blue's face flushed to indigo. "They took them. But they are alive. I can….I can feel them, still."

Jack's gut clenched. It was one thing to imagine what the children were going through. It must be hell to feel it yourself. He almost reached for her hand, but remembered that empathic races often found touch uncomfortable.

"We'll get them," he promised instead. A hollow promise, but it was the only thing that kept the army going. "We'll free them."

Blue nodded, taking deep breaths.

"And you, Captain?" she asked tentatively. "Did they take your child, too?"

"There was a child," Jack admitted. "But they didn't take him. He died." _I killed him._

Stephen screamed inside the blocked part of his mind. Jack forced it closed, shutting away the noise. He couldn't deal with that, not yet.

There was a touch on his hand.

"Can I help, Captain? Your shields are weakening and your pain is….intense."

"I'm sorry," Jack muttered. "I'll strengthen them."

"But I can do it better," her tone bordered on arrogance. The voice was different, but the tone was Owen's. Jack surrendered

He came out of something very like a trance. Blue sat across from him, frowning.

"Blocks," she said with dissatisfaction. "Are clumsy. I've reinforced it for now, but you should have proper treatment."

"When we finish this," Jack agreed. He couldn't hear Stephen screaming anymore. That was good. His headache was gone.

"You're wasted in a pilot's chair," he told her.

Blue sniffed. "First aid," she said. "You need more."

"When we finish," Jack repeated.

They watched the stars through an awkward silence. He could practically feel the questions streaming from his co-pilot. Jack didn't want to talk any more, but the Ianto in his head told him he must. Sharing their stories of loss bound the army together.

"What else did you want to ask?" he said tiredly.

Blue leaned across, her expression intense.

"The troops speak of your Ianto. And the name is in your thoughts. Everywhere. I wondered - was that the child's name?"

Jack could hear Ianto laughing again. So young, so old. But not a child. Maybe he'd never really been a child.

"He wasn't a child," Jack said, smiling at a rush of memories. "He was my…I supposed you'd call him my mate." The smile dropped away.

Blue blinked slowly. "You loved him. And you….lost him."

Jack nodded. "He died fighting the 456. They killed him."

"And all this," she waved a hand at the viewscreen, where the engines of their fleet dragged energy trails through the reaches of space. "Is for him."

"For all of them," Jack corrected. "For all the lost ones. And for all of us. For all the ones left behind. But yes, for him, I suppose. Because he wanted me to stand up to them."

"He was a good man," Blue said confidently. She turned back to the viewscreen. "But, Captain, you should let him go. You should let yourself heal."

Jack swallowed. "I can't." If he let Ianto go, would there be anything left?

* * *

_A/N: The dedication was supposed to be at the end, but there's a chapter left and I've missed the deadline, so here it is. Means a lot me but probably nothing to you, so feel free to ignore._

_Dedication.  
__For RJB, to mark the day the wind died.  
__The ones you left behind still fly, because you believed we could_


	4. Chapter 4

**Based on the song "Wind Beneath my Wings". Last verse, last chapter. **

**Everything belongs to the BBC. Except the song, this version of which belongs to Colleen Hewett.**

**Thank you to everyone who has read and/or reviewed. Cyberhugs.**

_Did you ever know that you're my hero.  
And everything I'd like to be  
I can fly higher than an eagle  
But you are the wind beneath my wings  
_

The comms burst into a spate of excited chatter. Jack focused back on it, annoyed at himself for getting lost in – what was it, grief therapy? But everyone was talking at once. He couldn't make sense out of any of it.

Jack slapped at his personal communicator. "Midshipman," he snapped. "Midshipman Frame. What the hell's going on?"

"Captain," Alonso's voice shook. Whatever it was, it was big. "Captain, the signal."

Jack checked. Same frequency as always. "What about it?"

"There's, there's hundreds of them, Jack. Hundreds of signals." OK, this was huge. Alonso had forgotten the formality.

"Hundreds," Jack repeated. Ianto roared with triumph. Jack's mind focused sharply. "The source? We've found the source?"

"Yes!" Alonso yelled. "We've found…"

"Wait," Jack commanded.

His fingers flew across the comms panel as he linked their private circuit into the general network. The whole troop deserved to hear this.

"OK, tell 'em," Jack ordered. Let Alonso have the glory. Jack had all he needed_. I'm standing up to them cariad. They'll never take a child again._

"The homeworld," Alonso bellowed, cutting across the chatter. "We've found the homeworld . Or a main base at least. We've got them, Jack. We've found them."

The comm system screeched with feedback as the army cheered.

Jack's vision blurred. He wondered if all of them felt like he did. Felt something draining away. Not the pain, but the sense of futility, the frustration. And…the sense of purpose. What would he do now?

Thin blue fingers wound around his wrist. Jack looked with surprise into the eyes of his co-pilot, watching the play of silver tears as they ran across blue skin. Too late, he realized his shields had slipped again.

"We will heal," she said, an authority in her voice which had nothing to do with her rank. "All of us."

Jack nodded. "We have to finish this first."

-XXX-

It was done. Jack stumbled into his cabin on the habitat ship and stripped off his hazard suit for the last time. He felt as though he'd been wearing it for weeks. Probably had, if he stopped to count the days. The air on the 456 homeworld wasn't breathable, not for anyone in the whole army. Apparently there was something about oxygen-breathers that attracted the 456 in the first place. Not that it mattered anymore.

It had been a slow victory. The troop performed above all expectations. There'd been no cruelty, no vengeance. They'd followed orders to the letter. Jack hadn't been so proud of a command since Torchwood.

The vessels of his army surrounded the planet. Their technicians efficiently blocked all outward communication. The 456 were isolated. They wouldn't be able to call for help. Wouldn't be able to warn the ships scouring the galaxy for new victims. The troop waited patiently until the Shadow Proclamation forces arrived and handed over the planet to them. Let the Judoon handle the criminals. Taskforce Stopwatch was more interested in the victims.

Jack stuffed the hazard suit in his locker. When they were back at the base, it would be cleaned and reallocated. He wouldn't need it any more. His task was over. His job was done. Jack collapsed onto his bed, wondering what he'd do now. He'd joined the Time Agency to impress his parents. He'd remade Torchwood to honor the doctor. He'd raised an army in memory of Ianto. What would he do for himself?

His cabin door opened. Three blue bodies edged their way into a room that was designed for one, maybe two at a pinch.

"Hi Blue," Jack said, sitting up. He didn't have to fake the pleasure in his voice. He'd become fond of his co-pilot. And Blue held a child in her arms.

"Jack, this is my sibling. He was still on the planet."

Jack smiled. He could feel Ianto smiling, too. It was all worth it. The smaller version of Blue still showed signs of his ordeal. Bandages covered the places where tubes had been removed from his body and his face showed pressure bruises where the mask had been. But he was curled in his sister's arms, and his face stretched in a lipless grin.

"Go ahead," Blue encouraged.

"Thank you, Captain," the child recited. "Thank you for saving me."

"My pleasure, little Blue," Jack answered, feeling moisture gather in his eyes. He hadn't saved Stephen, but he'd saved this one. He'd saved so many. Maybe one day it would feel as though it balanced out.

"And this," Blue continued, jerking her head towards the – man – behind her. "Is my mate. He's come to fix your mind block."

"But…um…" Jack stammered.

"He's very skilled," Blue said, an injured note in her voice. Jack suspected it was completely insincere. But he wasn't sure. And while he hesitated, Blue turned on her heel and left him with….well, Big Blue, he supposed. Too big to argue with.

-XXX-

Jack watched through a viewscreen as the last freighter launched from the surface. Aboard that freighter was all the information they'd need. Locations of all the children who'd been sold. Antidotes for every virus the 456 used to hold planets to ransom.

There was movement beside him, a hand resting on his arm. "Happy yet, Jack?"

"For the moment, Alonso."

Alonso smiled gently. They'd already said their goodbyes. He had his new assignment from the Shadow Proclamation. He hadn't asked Jack to join him. Jack wasn't ready to move on yet. They'd promised to keep in touch, but they both knew that Alonso had slipped into Jack's stock of 'I had a boyfriend who….' anecdotes.

Alonso's hand dropped away as he shifted smoothly into professional mode.

"The troop wants to know where to go next, Captain. They're waiting for you to address them."

Jack thought about just telling them all to go home. He was tired. He didn't want to play the hero Captain anymore. He wasn't a hero, never had been. Just a figurehead. The heroes were out there, every child who'd held on through the suffering. Every member of the troop who'd said this had to stop, and risked their lives to do it. They risked more than he had. They were better people than Jack Harkness, every single one of them. They held him up so they could look up to him.

If the banner that was Captain Jack Harkness still flew, it was only because the troops believed he could.

Alonso's arm curled around Jack's waist as they watched the freighter dock. Alonso keyed open a comm circuit. "They'll all be able to hear you now."

Ianto, Jack reflected, had sometimes written speeches for him. Jack wasn't good at oratory. He leaned into Alonso's arm and cleared his throat.

"Let's take the children home."

The cheers were deafening. The noise poured through Jack's body as tears poured down his face.

He couldn't hear Ianto anymore.

**You didn't really expect a happy ending, did you?** **Thanks for reading.**


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